Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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