the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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