I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
