He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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