i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
