I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
