I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
