Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
