Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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