your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
