i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
