Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
