I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
