Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
