She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
