just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
