weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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