Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
