Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
