Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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