oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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