I think I am morally bankrupt
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
