you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
