But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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