if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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