Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
