I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
