We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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