I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
