And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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