i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
