tell your sister to shave her snatch
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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