No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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