she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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