All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
