No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
