Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
