i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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