2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
