Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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