STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
