3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
