I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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