where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
