guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
