I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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