I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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