CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
