Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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