You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
