im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
